Why I dislike Clubbing

It wasn’t until recently that I realised I was an ambivert and honestly it’s answered a lot of questions since I realised this was an actual thing.

Some days I love going out and socialising and other days I just want a good date with my coffee and Netflix.

Clubbing has always been a difficult one for me. Quite often once I’m out there I enjoy myself but I’m always very aware and a little uncomfortable. I also have a fear of the unknown and losing control of a situation.

If the social event was a pub, the fear of losing control is not something that necessarily bothers me. I somehow know that in a pub environment, I won’t lose control.

The thought of going to a club makes me incredibly anxious. When I was at university, it felt like an obligation because that’s what students do, right?

There were many occasions I declined nights out because I just did not like clubbing.

It’s like forcing someone to go to a coffee shop and drinking only coffee when they don’t like coffee. I’d take my friend somewhere else if they didn’t enjoy it.

In the past I have followed a set of rules that I will go out for a friend’s birthday. I still very much don’t want to be there (despite wanting to be there for friends) but it has often made me look quite flakey and like a bad friend.

There are several reasons why I don’t enjoy clubbing and the more I write the more negative memories pop into my head.

Me in 2014 just before I was offered a drink which I turned down politely and was called ‘fridgid’ for saying ‘no, thank you’ – I shouldn’t have to explain that I just want a night out with my friends hassle-free. P.s yes that is my eyeliner all over my face.

Noise

I can’t hear myself think, I can’t even hear my friends close by. It makes everything feel distorted and I think it’s a large contributer to feeling ‘drunk’ despite not drinking much. Not to mention the next day when all you can hear is a ringing in your ears.

Lighting

Flashing lights paired with the loud music just makes me feel like I’m in a trippy 90’s film about drugs.

But it’s not just about the bright lights, it’s also about the dim lighting and feeling paranoid that someone so easily could steal a phone, purse, passport etc.

This picture is an accurate representation of what my head feels like when I’m in a club. It can be quite nauseating.

People

Okay, I’ve met some great people on a night out and they’ve turned the night around on occasion but I’ve also been groped, shoved, slapped and had my hair pulled all by strangers.

Without going into too much detail, I have had someone swoop up behind me and attempt to sexually assault me. However due to the lighting, I would never know who tried to do it.

Even without these sorts it people, I would still prefer a night in a cosy pub with good beer, good friends and a packet of cheese and onion.

I’ve had to struggle to get friends home before because they’re not able to walk. It can be quite daunting trying to make sure friends get to bed safely and quite often it goes further than just getting them home. What if they’re sick? Are they conscious enough to turn themselves over?

In the past I haven’t slept or I’ve slept on the floor of a friends room to make sure they’re okay. It’s a worry that very few enjoy dealing with.

On the other hand, I have been the friend that’s been out of control before and it’s unfair to put pressure on other people to ensure your safety.

Pressure

I can’t count the amount of times I’ve been called ‘boring’ for not going clubbing. The pressure as a young adult to go out clubbing can be unbearable.

I’ve had people I used to call ‘friends’ screaming in my face ‘BORING!!!!’ and my least favourite… ‘What’s wrong with you?’

There’s nothing wrong with me, this just isn’t my idea of fun. I also find crowds of people totally overwhelming and it’s just a whole anxiety induced nightmare.

‘Aged between 18 and 30? You should be out partying in the clubs!’ this isn’t just pressure from other young people. It’s amazing how many older generations will tell you that you should be out partying at the weekend.

Since when did clubbing become some sort of right of passage?

I don’t go out every weekend and spend my money on drinks I can’t remember drinking and wasting a whole Sunday feeling sorry for my self-inflicted hangover.

Dont get me wrong, I’ve woken up with a heavy head and sat in bed talking about the night before. I’ve done it. I’ve worn the t-shirt more than enough times but it has to stop being used as a social event that all young people ‘should’ be doing.

If clubbing is something you enjoy doing, that’s great. I don’t write this post to put down people who enjoy it, it’s a very much each to their own situation HOWEVER, I just don’t condone the judgements that many people have to endure when at college or university just because clubbing is not their scene.

A simple ‘If you change your mind you know where we are. Have a good evening!’ is all that is needed.

What are your clubbing experiences? How do you feel towards clubs? Tell me what you think!

📸 Ive used distorted photographs to keep friends anonymous. In the pictures taken I was amongst good friends who did not make me feel pressured or unhappy! Most of my unhappiness has unfortunately come from people outside of my friendship circles.

17 thoughts on “Why I dislike Clubbing”

  1. I can totally see where you’re coming from! I was forced to go clubbing so many times at uni for the year I was there and I ended up drinking way too much and getting myself into stupid situations. I’m very introverted and the thing is, when I’m with the right people I absolutely love a good night out – because of my introvertedness I just find it SO exhausting and it’s something I can only do a couple of times a year, if that. I’ll never get how people manage to go out every week!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes totally agreed! With the right people I can have so much fun but beforehand I will spend all day nervous and feeling like I’m in a pit of doom. Then as soon as I’m out I’m okay! But not often, I’d prefer to go to a pub. I’ve put myself in some dangerous situations too, walking home blind drunk by myself in bad areas etc.
      I’m glad it’s not just me who doesn’t treat it like a hobby. It’s not the best place for an introvert/ambivert!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. You’re not alone in disliking clubbing! In my early 20s, I went out a handful of times and while it was a fun evening with my friends, I still hated going clubbing. I particularly don’t enjoy the vibes, the costs associated with clubbing (drinks, coat checking, cabbing, etc) and the creeps in the clubs. Nowadays, I only go clubbing if it’s a friend’s birthday. I do enjoy lounges and bars much more.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree with that, it is SO expensive. Even getting into the club costs money! I haven’t been to a club for about 2 years and it was an open one in Greece. I was so uncomfortable!

      Like

  3. Oooh….aside from the main topic, I learned something from this post…. I had never heard of ‘ambivert’. I always just used to tell people that I’m neither an introvert nor an extrovert. I am capable of being either depending on the situation or my mood. Now I know what to call it. Thanks.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I used to enjoy clubbing until I was around 22/23 … then the real hangovers kicked in haha! I totally understand everything you’re saying and I don’t think anyone should be pressured into clubbing or even drinking if it’s just not their thing! Give me Netflix and chill any day… M x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Absolutely! I don’t know how I used to bounce back after a night out. I need to make sure I’ve got about 3 days off before I go out now! 😂
      I definitely think there’s pressure and stigma involved when it comes to clubbing. Netflix and chill always! ❤️

      Like

  5. yes, yes and YES!! I’ve never been someone who enjoyed going clubbing, in fact, I hated it. I always thought something was wrong with me because all of my friends went clubbing every weekend. I love how honest this post is and it kind of reassures me that i’m not “the weird and boring one” haha. Thank you so much for sharing! I’m sure this post will help a lot of people who find clubbing just as unenjoyable!

    Malena xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re definitely not alone there! I’ve been made to feel very bad for not going out and clubbing.
      In fact, one time when I was at uni, all my housemates were going out clubbing and I was going to be in the house alone (in a very bad area of town may I add) and ended up going out with them because the idea of being home by myself in this big scary empty house scared me more!

      Like

  6. O’muhgoodness…. I don’t miss my clubbing days! In fact, after reading your post, it makes me wonder just why I got out in all that to begin with…

    Plus, I was too much of a introvert for it anyway. 🤦‍♂️

    Liked by 1 person

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